the diary

June 29, 2011

I accompanied Karl to the Student’s affairs office during our 15 minute break in accounting. Sa 6^th floor ang classroom namin at umakyat pa kami papuntang 8^th floor. At dahil gutom ako, nagdesisyon kaming pumunta sa canteen sa 3^rd floor habang may oras pa. rumarampa kami sa hallways ng 8^th floor at nagdrop by pa sa cr ng girls sa 6^th floor bago tuluyang dumeretso sa canteen. We were talking about my charade with Wijay along the way. Potek Lord, ayaw ko siyang makita, huwag muna, hindi pa ako handa. Kilala pala niya ako e.

Just then, sa may bungad pa lang ng canteen likod pa alng alam ko nng siya na iyon, napakapit ako kay Karl sa sobrang kaba. “Si Wijay!” sabi ko saka napaatras, ang gaga naman, tiningnan pa ng mabuti bago kami sinundan nina Ayel at Ivee pataas sa hagdan. We raced through the corrigdors para lang iwasan sila.

 Shocks, nanlamig ang mga kamay ko doon ah! Bakit naman kasi out of all the places in the campus, doon pa sa pupuntahan ko siya pumunta. Hindi tuloy ako nakakain! Gutom na gutom na ako!

tapos naman sa CR, kailangan ko pang paunahin si Karl para lang maicheck kung nasa vicinity si Wijay! pero unexpectedly noong pngalawang beses na akong pumunta nang CR nandoon siya na para bang naghihintay talaga sa pagdaan ko. buti na lang may back up ako, kumwari hindi ko siya kilala na walang nangyari talaga.

"...mamamatay talaga ako," i was saying habang padaan kami sa harap niya.

"ang galing mo nga e!" sabi ni Ivy.

"bunganga mo, marinig pa niya tayo."

pagdating namin sa safe zone saka ako nagtawa... sus! kinabahan naman daw ako. at pagdating ng gabi, narealize ko lang... nag effort pa man din akong pagtaguan siya, parang di lang din naman yata niya ako kilala.

the diary

June 28, 2011.
It is my birthday. I’m celebrating it with my 9 friends. We stopped at a point in the center of the hallways though, to greet Xave, another soul who is celebrating his birthday too. We we’re chatting when something came up.

“Key... gusto mong masira ang araw mo?” that was my dearest friend Karlinn. “tingin ka doon oh,” I looked over my right side and saw a guy running towards our direction. It was a split second until his face registered in my mind.

It was PS. The guy I was crushing over for several months now. I secretly call him playboy, which has served as a code name for several occasions. But he’s actually a very decent guy, with two ex girlfriends and a lot of acquaintances. He’s the guy in the black jacket. Single, mind you.

“Aw shicks! Nasira araw ko!” naisigaw ko. Sumakto pa ang pagdaan niya sa harap ko. And worse, nagkatinginan kami! I felt so stupid! Buti na lang hindi niya ako kilala.

We journeyed over the campus unto our so called secret garden to eat lunch. It was just pizza, a roll of cake and soda. Celebrating with my college friends is way cooler than anything else. I only invited one among my high school friends, but sadly she couldn’t make it because of the conflict in our schedules. I don’t want celebrating my birthday with complete strangers, not that I consider my high school friends strangers, but they had been so far off from me. I know they don’t even know that June 28 is a very special day. And I was right. Only three among my high school friends remembered that this is my day. It seems that they have forgotten everything from high school. And I guess holding on to such past is not good for my psychological health. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be better off without them. Forgive and forget. Not about the faults, but about them and the moments we’ve shared. Pause, delete. Wala na akong kilalang tao mula sa past ko bukod sa mga taong di pa rin ako nakakalimutan. It is the present that really matters most. Nandito na nga ako malapit sa future, babalik pa ako sa past? Sus! Wag na lang ano! Sabi ko nga, ‘you wouldn’t be where you are today if you didn’t let go of such yesterday’.

Tinext ko na naman iyong lalakeng pinagtitripan ko noong nakaraang gabi. I know him from one of my classes last summer. And I was tempted, wala akong mapgtripan e. pagbigyan niyo ako, birthday ko naman di ba?

“cnu ka” was his reply to my first message.

“ako nga iyong paparazzi kagabi, remember?”

“ah.k” pagpasensyahan niyo na... he could really be annoying at times.

‘ikaw, cnu ka?” i tried testing him too. Hindi naman niya ako kilala talaga e.

“ako c pogi” ang kapal niya!

“langya ka! Ikw, anong hula mo? Bbae b aq o l2ke?”

“bakla.”

“bakla ka rin!”

“K.”

“hulaan na lng kta.”

“Alm ko n fture ko. No need para hulaan m”

“we nvr know ryt? The thing you expect your life to be might not exactly be the one w/c will happen in your future”

“ i know. Im not expcting to have my future. Kung ikaw may bday ngaun, hapi bday.kng hnd,nvm.” Antipatiko ang walang hiya, nakakabanas! Pero teka...

“kilala mo na ako?”

“ung nanabunot skn?

“cnsbunutn ba kc kta?”

“Nvm.” Doon ko lang din sa point na iyon narealize na never mind pala ang ibig sabihin ng sinasabi niyang NVM! Por Dios! Nakakaasar din talaga ito. Ako na ang pinagtripan niya, hindi ako papayag!

“pwede ba? Kung sincere ka talaga, batiin mo ako ng maayos wag yung ganyan!”

“Happy Birthday. ^^” Napangiti naman ako doon na hindi ko alam kung anong susunod na sasabihin ko. Pero inunahan na niya ako. 1 text message from Wijay, masaya pa man din ako tapos ang sasalubong sa aking text... “Ok na?” ano kaya iyon? Panira talaga sa kaligayahan ito!

“ok na!”

“Bka kc umyak k dyan ea.mag emo kpa.”

“hoy! Para sbhin q sau, kht wla aqng luvlyf e msya aq ano!”

“Tntanong?”

Basag!

“ang sama mo, mabangungot k sna.”

“Tnx. =)”

“ grabe ka.”

“ ea d naman kc kta kilala n0h?malay q b kng cnung kathleen ka”

“kulamin kita jan e.”

“Try nga.”

“mghintay hintay k lng pwde?”

“K. Nyt. =/”

I never dared to text him after that. Nagulantang naman daw ako. Natakot ako na kilala pala niya ako tapos kung ano ano lang ang pinagsasabi ko sa kanya, sus! Magalit pa sa akin girlfriend niya. Wijay, one hell of a crazy guy. Ang lalakeng laging gumagamit ng pang-asar na smiley. That was just the start of my crazy adventures... madalas kaya akong napapahamak sa mga ginagawa ko sa mundong ito. abangan na lang ninyo.