Naranasan
mo na bang makarinig ng joke ng paulit-ulit na nakalimutan mo na kung bakit
iyon nakakatawa? Tapos bigla mo iyong maririnig uli sa di inaasahang oras at
pagkakataon at bigla mong maaalala iyong rason kung bakit at saka ka tatawa
uli.
Iyon
mismo ang nangyari sa akin...
5:30 na ako nagising. Kumunot agad ang
noo ko. Why do I have to wake up and find that my ceiling was invaded by an
imagery of him descending the stairs of Devesse wearing that gray sweatshirt of
his? God! Umagang umaga naman oh!
Pero
ngayon ko lang uli siya naalala. This is a familiar feeling though. Namimiss ko
siya. Siguro kasi wala man lang akong nareceive na text ngayon. It’s been two
days since I last received a good night and a good morning.
Tinatamad
akong magtext pero pinilit kong magtype para iparamdam na buhay pa ako.
Group
Message:
“Namimiss
ko si Wilbert! Ano ba yan?! Wala kasi akong katxt eh.
Wala
man lang naggood morning sakin ngayon, tsk! @_@”
Matapos
ang pangongonsensya kong iyon, nagsidatingan na ang mga reply nila ng good
morning. Chi! Haha. Nakakasakit ng ulo.
Nakikinig
lang ako ng Don’t ever let it end ng Nickelback habang nakaupo sa bench nang
biglang may tumawag. It was Dave. I asked myself, what could he possibly want?
But before I could even think of a relevant answer to the question, my phone
had already received the call. Nakalimutan ko na nakaset pala sa auto answer
iyon.
“Hello?...
Dave?”
“Hindi
si Dave to.” Halata nga. Alam ko kung anong tunog ng boses ni Dave. Kinabahan
ako bigla. Sino to? Clearly it’s a guy. Napaisip tuloy ako ng kung ano-anong
mga rason kung bakit hindi si Dave itong kausap ko ngayon. Nawala din ba ni
Dave ang phone niya? O baka naman kuya niya to. Either way, ayaw kong
makipag-usap sa taong di ko kilala.
“Ah.
Sorry po.” I mumbled. I-eend ko na sana iyong tawag. Dapat din ginawa ko na.
Pero hindi eh, hinintay ko pa iyong sasabihin niya.
“Sino
to?” tanong niya. I should be the one asking that! Sino ba ‘to?
“Kathleen
po.” Uy! Di naman ako sinungaling. Saka, pangalan lang naman iyon. Hindi naman
siguro niya ako kilala.
“May
kilala kang Wijay?”
With
that question, my heart stopped. I don’t think Dave knows about Wijay. At least
about the name. Iyon ang palayaw na ibinigay ko noon kay Wilbert. And only my
friends and the guy himself knew about that.
“Sino?”
Kunwari daw hindi ko narinig.
“Wijay.”
Ulit niya. “Kilala mo?”
“Sino
iyon?” I stupidly asked. I was already clutching my chest and cursing myself
for being so dim-witted! Bakit naman sa lahat ng pangalan Wijay pa? Gawd!
Kilala ko na yata ang taong ito.
This
kind of thundering heartbeat of mine is so familiar. It happens every time I
see him unexpectedly at school before. He’s the only one who could really do
this to me.
“Ako.”
sabi niya. “Si Wijay to.”
Heh!
Soap Opera!?
Damn!
I guess I died. How many months had it been? I naturally avoided seeing him in
school before. Ayoko lang. Gulong gulo na iyong utak ko. Nakalimutan ko na nga
kung anong sinabi ko sa kanya eh. His voice was just so intoxicating. It was
overwhelming. I should’ve recorded it.
“Hinahanap
mo si Dave?”
LA!
Ang alam ko mahirap siyang patawanin. But at that moment, I was certain... he
must’ve laughed at this very awkward situation.
Dave’s
familiar voice then came in. “Hello Kath.”
“Dave!
Ansama ng ugali mo!” I’m back to my OA self. My chest hurts. Unexpected kasi
eh. I wondered. Where are they exactly? Tahimik kasi sa background. At bakit
sila magkasama? Naman! Kaya nga anlakas ng loob kong sabihin iyong text na iyon
kasi ang alam ko hindi na sila nagkikita masyado at hindi naman siguro
ipagsasabi ni Dave iyon. But look at this situation! It's so awkward! I can't even say thank you. In fact, I don't want to say thank you. It will complicate things.
“Napakabuti
kong kaibigan di ba? Di lang text iyon.”
“Niloloko
niyo na ako eh.”
“Sabi
mo namiss mo si Beck, nagkataon lang na nandito siya. O di nakausap mo na? Ang
bait ko di ba?”
Mabait
naman talaga si Dave. Proven iyon. Pero hindi ko naman ineexpect na mageextend
pa sa ganito iyong kabaitan niya. Hindi ako galit. Naiiyak ako. Gah! Dapat
hindi ko na siya naalala.
When
my friend Bev asked me ‘limot mo na sya?’ last September, I confidently
answered ‘oo. Matagal na.’ It was the truth back then. But right now, if I’d be
asked the same question yet again. I’m not sure what my answer would be. He
always had this ability of confusing me, and to think that he can still do that
was a certain proof that there’s still that ember waiting to burn.
It
took a great effort to forget him. I did everything within my capacity. And since
it’s one sided there was no such thing us setting him free, it was merely
distancing myself from him. And it had worked so far.
And
now that the distance was breached by his voice, the feeling I felt for him
before was reawakened. God! Effort na naman to! Matinding effort.
But
I did appreciate the gesture. And the most important thing was, I now have an
answer to the question: “What was the Last thing they did for You that made you
smile?” It would be this one. This, I can consider as something that is really for me.
